Want respectful and loving children?

As a parent, you can be proactive in mothering (and fathering). The success is not determined by how your children turn out, but in how you intentionally raise them up in your home. Be careful not to implement just one of these tips. The secret is implementing both these parenting tips in order to have successful parenting.

Proverbs 22:6, “Start children off on the way they should go, and when they are old they will not turn from it.”

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The 2 Parenting Tips:

1. DISCIPLINE

I’m a firm believer in discipline. Once your child fully understands what is being explained to him, discipline should begin. The earlier you start with the child in the toddler years, the easier things will become as they get older. Allowing your 2 or 3 year old to get away with certain behavior, but you wanting it to change a few years later- GRACE TO YOU! Difficult times are bound to arrive. The child can get confused emotionally and be even more difficult to handle when they are older. Chaos could easily arise in the home with no discipline.

Children need to know there are consequences in wrong behavior. They most times will not naturally learn on their own. They are born with a flesh just like you and I – needing to know that certain things are unacceptable. Our children need us to guide them and let them know when they have “crossed the line“.

One thing that should go hand-in-hand with disciplining is CONSISTENCY. If you put all this work into disciplining your children, but are not consistent with when and how you do it, it’s hard work that won’t produce much fruit.

Stick to your words. If you say you’re going to take something away for a certain amount of time… STICK TO IT! If you don’t, your words have no credibility. Your child might think, “Well, what’s the point in being obedient if mom never does what she says she will do.”

Also, don’t use the words, “never, EVER will you ________ again if you don’t obey.” Don’t threaten to not go somewhere or take something away from the child, if in reality, you won’t actually stick to your words!

Stay calm. Don’t react out of anger (this is one that I slip in a lot). I realized for myself, that if I handle the situation right away, before letting frustration rise up inside of me, I can discipline with control. However, if I allow the situation to get more intense, then I get a bit more emotional and I react in a lack of controlling my words and actions.

My children respond to me in a respectful way if I’ve treated them in a respectful way. Me raising my voice leads to my children raising their voices. A constant reminder of myself to… stay calm.

Be consistent, be strict, and keep your cool while disciplining. This will give you incredible power as a parent. The Bible says discipline will bring peace in the home:

Proverbs 29:17, “Discipline your children, and they will give you peace; they will bring you the delights you desire.”

However, we cannot focus only on the discipline in parenting. If we did, our children would grow up to be rebellious. Remember, there were two parenting tips, which leads us to number 2…

2. RELATIONSHIP

Your relationship with your child needs to exceed the amount of discipline. If you spend a lot of time disciplining your child, you better be spending an extra amount of quality time with your child in what she loves to pursue. If you are extremely strict (which I recommend), but have NO relationship, this is where rebellion can rise up.

Don’t just send your children outside when they get home from school. Go out and play ball with them, ride bike, or even just taking them to an ice cream shop can mean the world to them. The five love languages include: Quality Time, Serving, Words of Affirmation, Physical Touch, and Gifts. Figure out what each of your children’s top love languages are and pursue each of them in that way.

The more time and energy you invest into your children, through discipline and building your relationship with them, the more they will feel loved and valued. Discipline puts boundaries on children, which leads them feeling protected and loved within the family. No boundaries in their life can lead to feelings of fearful, scared, and insecure.

Be a parent to your children by not just demanding what they should do all day long but buy intentionally forming a relationship with each child. Incorporate lots of discipline, but incorporate even more relationship in your child’s life!

With these two parenting tips, you have a high percentage chance of having responsible and respectful children- not perfect ones- but ones who respect you as a parent and desire a relationship with you in return.

The 2 Parenting Tips that Guarantee You Success

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