The other day I was at Sheetz with my aunt, and while I was walking up to the checkout line, she handed me $3 to pay for my milkshake. My immediate reaction to her was, “NO, NO!” She then said, “Why don’t you receive this blessing?” And in those few seconds, I felt guilty and chose to receive it.
After the matter I thought, “Why did I just not receive it?”
Anybody else guilty of this?
I grew up with my mom and grandma going out to eat, and ALWAYS fighting for the bill when it came to pay. One would say, “No, I got it.” And the other would grab it out of her hands and say, “No, I do!” On, and on, this would happen. I am guilty of this many, many times myself.
Why can it be so hard for us to receive? How comes for something so small and simple, we can make a huge deal out of it?
My philosophy…
“We try to act like we are NOT selfish.”
However, I believe the complete opposite is happening. We ARE selfish when we deny a gift or a blessing.
Obligation
We don’t want to receive from someone, because we then immediately feel obligated that in some time we must give in return. Which means we must provide a gift or a service from our own time or money.
We don’t want to feel that obligation! And so that obligation never arrives when we deny that gift.
Denying the Blessing
When we refuse to receive a gift, we are denying that person to receive a special blessing from God.
This leads us, again, in being selfish. We are only thinking of ourselves when we don’t receive. We don’t want to feel that obligation, so we end up denying that blessing they could be receiving from God in return.
Our Mindset
Can we realign our mindset to what it really means to receive. We SHOULD NOT feel obligated to give in return when we receive. If that person gave out of the right heart, no expectations in return should be there.
Plus, if they gave out of the right heart, and you received it, then that person is on it’s way receiving a special blessing from God. One that God so gladly wants to give His child!
Years ago, my husband confronted me about not easily receiving when friends or family members would offer me something. Over time, my mindset has changed.
However, I felt that I got to the point of receiving and accepting very quickly and easy, without any hesitation. This then probably led people to thinking that I was greedy. So I now find myself at the same point I was years ago.
The challenge I give myself is…
Finding that balance of knowing how to willing receive but also not taking it for granted.
Anyone else battle with this?
Very good point! Thanks for sharing.
Your welcome… thanks for stopping by!
Ah! This is so hard sometimes! Working with children every day, I love seeing their faces light up when I accept something they give me – a handmade gift, a picture they just colored, or whatever. Children love to give and they love it even more when adults appreciate whatever they offer. I don’t think adults are much different but it’s harder when we feel like we are inconveniencing the other person by accepting. I try to remember those children’s faces when both giving and receiving and it seems to shed the right perspective on the situation. 🙂 Thanks for reminding us that it is a pretty awesome feeling to both give and receive a blessing.
You are so right, Tina! Our children do light up when we easily receive that card they delightfully made for us, or that pretend food they so excitedly prepared for us. Thanks for sharing your insight on this… it opened my eyes up even more about this whole aspect of receiving!
Wow this totally resonates with me! I share the conviction that as the body of Christ we are meant to support and give to one another and when we learn it is our responsibility to do so, and that God expects it from us then it makes it easy to be on the receiving end! I dont know if that made sense 🙂 but I love how God and His ways are perfect!
You are so right, Lisa! Yes, if we each had that perspective of receiving, none of us would question actually receiving from another.
I was raised to never depend on anyone, always supply your own need, etc. Then a couple of years ago a lady in our church at the time asked me why I wouldn’t receive what many people kept offering to me. She told me that I was refusing them to use their gift, thus stopping God from doing the work that He wonderfully does. OUCH. Ever since then I quickly let others help when they offer. I want ALL of God’s gifts to be used to their fullest!
Such an incredible perspective, Julia! Yes, as a body of Christ, we should easily accept each other’s gifts as we each walk out our giftings!
This is absolutely real.personally I fight a lot of guilt when someone pays the bill.even my own sisters.I always feel I should have paid.
Yes, you’re not alone! I don’t know of too many people where receiving is easy.
Other people are not always so generous as we would like to believe. They may even believe they are giving from a right place in their heart. I have learned the hard way a number of times that even some Christians do not mean to attach strings to their “gift,” but they do!! I don’t want to feel obligated, I get that, it’s very insightful and has given me good stuff to think about. I’m stuck still trying to put appropriate boundaries in dysfunctional relationships though 🙁 and sadly, readily accepting “gifts” from others is challenging bc THEY expect in return and when I can’t reciprocate, we both get hurt.
It is a matter of being willing to look at my own heart and learning what God is asking of me and walking with Him through it, even when others respond in painful ways.
Thanks for sharing, Denise 🙂
You are right. Looking at the other end of it, the people who do have expectations in their heart after giving (and most times don’t even realize it), can easily ruin relationships when those expectations are not met. And you are also right, in that we need to look at our own heart, and see what God is asking US to do through each painful situation. I really appreciate you being honest here and sharing your heart and perspective with this subject.